Whod you bang
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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