I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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