If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i drank out of a bidet.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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