So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
