i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
