the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
