wrigley field is MILF paradise
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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