True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
