she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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