then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
