Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
