did you get engaged???
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
