I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Terrible idea I love it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
