Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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