I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It's Friday. Sex?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
