if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
