My nipple is on Facebook.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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