But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize