I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
