shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
