..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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