Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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