I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
