escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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