who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
