im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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