ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
