Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize