My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
