I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
