pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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