That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
