we have pet lesbian snakes
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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