Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
