i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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