U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
