i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
