For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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