I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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