That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
