Pants 0. Shit 1.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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