Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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