I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
