it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
