dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
