If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
