please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize