if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
