So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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