fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize