How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
