After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
