cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
