The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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