I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
