You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
