i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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