well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
