I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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