Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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