And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
